Monday, April 10, 2006
I ain't no queen of hearts, I go through stages
I fall in love then complicate
yeah, you know the feeling
w/out much hope just blind ambition
pretending that there's nothing missing
I always kept believing that...
more, I thought if I had more I wouldn't get so bored
but everything just left me empty
love walkin in and out of my door wasn't good enough no more
well i dont trust myself life really sucks and...
[chorus]
first time i did it but i didnt do it
last time, that's when i really blew it
this time im gonna do it different cuz i know, i know, i know...
if i put everything i have into it
eventually im gonna get what's good for me
im just tryin to be creative
but everyone's so opinionated
wanna tell me what im feeling
cuz one man's junks another's treasure
when its done its hard to measure or keep on believing that...
more, if only i had more, i wouldn't get so bored
but i know its gonna leave me empty
life, walkin in and out of my door wasn't good enough no more
well i don't trust myself im gonna get stuck and...
[chorus]
first time i thought it but i didnt do it
last time, thats when i really blew it
this time im gonna do it different cuz i know, i know, i know...
if i put everything i have into it
eventually im gonna get whats good for me
cuz i dont want to live my life wondering if only i woulda, i shoulda, i coulda...
but i didnt cuz i only blame myself
again...first time i thought it but i didnt do it
last time, thats when i really blew it
so this time, this time, this time...
if i put everything i have into it
eventually im gonna get whats good for me
[chorus]
first time i thought it but i didnt do it
last time, thats when i really blew it
this time im gonna do it different cuz i know, i know, i know...
if i put everything i have into it
eventually im gonna get whats good for me
there a song for anyone who reads this. its called whats good for me by lucy woodward
Today wasnt that bad for a monday i mean cuz normally something happens. but today it as ok. it practically rain'd the whole day which was pretty good. but omg theres this chick in the grade below me i fink i only know she's younger than me, she has everything same as mine i wear a black o'reef hoodie to school and she has the same one, i use black converse shoes to school and she does the same its so annoying dude like seriously. im so effing pissed of at that i mean why cant she get her own style, and like 4rm the back she looks like me cuz of her hair its just that my hair is longer than hers, omg its so annoying, i took of my hoodie during lunch and she took it off aswell the sametime gawd, i was just like "OMG...WHAT THE" kinda thing. i mean if she has on ething thats the same as mine yeah it'd be ok but like she's like a clone of me and that aint cool nor right, its so annoying dude. and like im really starting to think that i should stop like the dude i like, there's just to much goin round now and i dont want anything to happen. ok im gona go to like an emo thing so just bare with me, here goes hahaha, its like whenever i see him i wana be with him but then i think like it would never happen which can be true and knowing that "edna" and "gamezone/rapunzel" like him it just make me feel like i wana saty away cuz i do, its confusing and i hate it. i just wana re-start everything including the ppl i like. dont get me wrong i like this dude and all its just that somethimes i wish..i duno what i wish. and i dont know what to do with my life ne more it may seem ok and everything is fine and wonderful but its not and ppl dont understand that its not, even the ppl that know whats happening to my lie its like they act like they dont and make me feel bad abt myself or a\make it seem like my life is a dump it actully makes me realise that some ppl that say they are my friends but arnt only come to me for cash or a ride or a place to stay and just mess up cuz i have stuff they dont and its not that its a bad thing its just that some people use me alot and like its getting really annoying so like im gona try and stay at home more now and stuff like that cuz i just cnt take it ne more, i just effing hate it when they say they are ur friend but they actully arnt, they only say that cuz they want stuff from me and when i cant give it to them they go behind my back and bitch abt me, i mean if ur gona bicth abt me say it to my face and dont say that ur my friend when im not, that just pisses me off alot and i cant take it ne more cuz it seems like everyone at school does that to me.
but anyways dian and i are starting a new leaf so we are leaning to skate so that when i move houses which is closer to them we can skate to each others houses and stuff which will be so daymn cool hehehe. today i was practicing skate boarding and i was goin so fast i cldnt stop so i kinda like jump off the board nd like started runing and i cld stop cuz i was so close to the gate i ran into the gate, it was pretty funny then but now it just hurts hahahaha. but yeah it was good im not that bad at it, i just have to learn how to move properly, turn, and stop hahahaha mark/mc hammer ish teaching us so yeah hahaha its gona be so fun..hehehe. i really like skate boarding, hehehe. and finally we are performing oliver this weekend im like so happy dont have to stay back after school late and i wont be so tired and stuff, lets just hope nofinks happens between now and this weekend or im gona get so effing pissed of. and i was chatting with chris just now, i miss him so daymn much he use to like call and txt me every single night and day and stuff he was so cool he was talking to he's mates abt me and now they all wana see me so like they are asking me to visit them during the summer holz..hahaha nd i told them to come and visit brunei when chris comes to visit during the summer holz..hehehe..i cant wait till he comes. *sigh anyways gtg
xoxo_
ciao_
L o V i N g Y o U
8:04 AM
